My Connections to Play

It is a happy talent to know how to play.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher, poet, essayis

“Children learn as they play. Most importantly, in play children learn how to learn.” ~ O. Fred Donaldson (martial arts master)

“A child loves his play, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard.” ~ Benjamin Spock (pediatrician, author)

“Play builds the kind of free-and-easy, try-it-out, do-it-yourself character that our future needs.” ~ James L. Hymes Jr. (child development specialist, author)

Before the age of five, my parents and my sister were my playmates.  I stayed safely within their reach, and learned through interactions within the family.  I begged and pleaded to be allowed to socialize with other children, but was told that I had to wait until I started school.  When I was four, I was taught the two major family safety rules.  I learned the acceptable environmental boundaries, and learned to cross the street.

When I was five years old, I started first grade.  Kindergarten did not exist back then, so I was in first grade.   I walked to school with the neighbor girl.  We crossed streets on our own, and walked the four blocks to school, unsupervised.  I lived in a small town, in central Pennsylvania, with little traffic, where everyone felt safe.  Starting at the age of five, I played aroud the corner, on a dead end street.  There were many children my age, some were cousins, others friends.  I was allowed to play during daylight hours on weekends, and after school on school days. 

Parental supervision during play was minimal.  I knew my boundaries, don't cross any street, don't play with any boys.  I was allowed in any girls yard or front porch, and could play in the adjoining town park.  Sometimes we would invite our parents to watch a skit, often performed on roller skates.  Our parents would all make the time to come and watch.  If not invited, the parents left us to our own play.  Our parents were minimally involved, and we totally enjoyed the freedom!

Much of my play at the age of five through 10 consisted of riding bikes, roller skating, climbing trees, jumping rope, digging in sand, sled riding down the neighbors hill, pogo sticks, and pushing doll strollers.  I had the freedom to come and go as I pleased, and to play whatever I wanted, with any girl on the block.  My best friends were Kelly and Mickey, the next door neighbors.  They had a large front porch on their house, and when it rained, we would all play on the porch.  We loved the outdoors, and spent as much time outside as possible.  

When I was about age ten, my boundaries were increased.  I was allowed to ride my bike around town.  My mother took me for several bike rides, to show me the rules.  When she felt confident that I was safe on the streets with my bike, she released me to ride on my own.  When I was in middle school, my friend Judy and I would take weekly Saturday bike rides to a neighboring town, about 12 miles away, ask for broken ice cream cones at the ice cream stand at the entrance to town, and then ride the 12 miles home.  The rode was rural, tree lined, and lightly traveled.  We never worried about safety, strangers, or anything else!  We felt relaxed, safe, and at ease with nature.  We would take hikes on nearby wooded trails, often walking miles from home.  We had no cell phones, and no worries.  We knew that we could handle any situation that would arise!

Today's child has none of the freedom I experienced as a child.  Today, a child must be accompanied by a parent when they leave the safety of their own home.  The days of child centered play are diminishing.  Playgrounds have sprung up, to be climbed on instead of trees.  Bike trails have taken over as the approved place to ride bikes, and often parents must drive to these bike trails.  Roller rinks have taken over side walk skating.  Children spend a majority of their time indoors, and often must wait until a parent has time to supervise outdoor play.  Children are loosing their freedom to play!  

Today, as an adult, I enjoy a walk through the forest with my husband.  It is a way for us to relax, and unwind.  I take my oldest grandson bike riding, and attend cub scout campouts.  I teach him to use a pocket knife, a fishing pole, and to swim!  My husband and I take the grandsons tenting, and allow them free time to play outside all day!  They don't know what to do!  We have to help them initiate play, be involved in their play.  Children of today often do not know how to self initiate unstructured, unsupervised, play.  Children of today are waiting for an adult to tell them how to play.   Children of today are used to highly supervised, structured activities.  We can help them learn by allowing them the freedom to play! 

Relationship Reflection

Relationships define who we are, who we know, and who we become.  They are our most valuable possession, they are the only things in life that matter.  Relationships touch and affect our lives in ways we could never imagine.  They give us support in times of trouble, and make us feel loved.  They give us our greatest joy, and our greatest impact on others.  They are the core of the family, provide security, and provide a sense of identity and fulfillment.  Relationships, in todays electronic age, can often be online, through social sites such as Facebook and MySpace.  I prefer face-to-face relationships, formed the "old fashioned" way.  Partnerships are relationships of two or more people, involved in the same activity.  For instance, two people who work together, toward the same goal.

My most important relationships are with my family.  My husband, who supports my education by giving up quality time so I can complete assignments, is my closest positive relationship.  My parents and sister are a portion of my positive family relationships.  You can find their pictures in my Personal Childhood Web.  My daughter is a very important part of my daily life, and is a positive influence.  I am currently supporting her through book signings.  She is a new author!  See my page titled New Author.  My grandchildren are a big part of my life, and I have positive relationships with all three of them.  I have a new son-in-law, who I am building a relationship with.  We have not known each other for very long, and are in the beginning stages of building, setting the foundation for a relationship which I hope lasts for an eternity.

I have positive partnerships with my staff.  They have worked with me for a number of years, and yes, we have had our disagreements!  We always work through our differences, and are stronger for it.  Now, we work together like a well oiled cog.  We are in a partnership, since we are working toward the common goal of raising a group of young children, supporting them, and teaching them.  Yes, we have relationships with each other, but they seem less significant than the partnership we have formed.  We talk about personal events, and occasionally will have a night out on the town.  We do spend time with each other outside of work, but when we do, we talk about the children, their families, plan child care activities, and strengthen our working partnerships.

The children, parents, and extended family at my child care facility are like family to me!  We share personal notes, support each other, and feel free to speak freely to each other.  Getting to know the families of the children creates a bond that is unbreakable in times of joy and in times of stress.  These partnerships make my job as an early childhood educator much easier.  The open lines of communication, the trust between parties, and the respect shown each other are all obvious to the children.  The children, in turn, follow our example and learn to love and trust us and each other.

Over time, I have learned from my experiences that some persons will stand behind a brick wall, and try not to let you through.  The challenge of breaking through the imaginary brick wall, and entering into a relationship can be difficult, but is not impossible.  The persons hiding, retreating, and shut off from close relationships is the person that need the interaction the most.  If you just find one little crack in the wall, you can edge yourself in.  There is always a way in!  Communication is the only way to keep a relationship and a partnership strong!  We must talk, talk, talk!  We must confide in each other, and tell each other about events and activities in our lives.