EDUC6165 - Week 5 - Conflict Resolution

HELP!  I am currently experiencing a conflict in my group childcare home, and I am open to any suggestions!  Here is the background:

·       One ten year old boy is enrolled part time for the summer, attending one week on, one week off.  During the off weeks he is with his father, during his childcare weeks he is with his mother.

·       Mother of this boy admits she has no control at home, states the boy has ADHD but is off medication for the summer, and also admits she is afraid to cross the child because of the joint custody.  Mother is living near poverty level.

·       Father of the boy does not have any interaction with the child care.  He comes from a financially well off family, and spoils the boy with cruises, cell phones, etc.

·       Staff wants the boy removed from the childcare.  They are refusing to work with him, and are becoming very stressed within his presence.  One male staff member admits that he is close to physically harming the child, and is having a hard time holding back.  He has asked to be assigned away from the boy.

·       The ten year old boy has been using inappropriate language, teaching younger children to fight, showing disrespect to adults in front of the other children, talking back to staff, and in general acting as if he were better than everyone else at the childcare. At mealtime he grabs a plate and eats before other children are called to the table, uses poor table manners, and complains about our “slop”, as he eats three to four servings.

·       As the director, I have observed the boy.  I do not notice any signs of ADHD.  I do notice signs of lack of adequate parental control.  He seems to be using his parent’s divorce as a way to control his mother, threatening to go live with his father when she does not meet his demands.  I do not know if he does the same with his father.

As the director, my first step was to assign the male staff person to an area away from this child.  This staff person has worked with me for over ten years, and has never touched a child.  I support his request to work away from this child, due to his admission of possible lack of control in the future.  I hope to work with the child, and as I make progress, explain to the male staff person my non-violent techniques.  I can walk the staff person through the process, taking baby steps, showing by example how to help this child in a non-violent way.   I may also consider future training for this staff person in the area of non-violent conflict resolutions.  I will also compliment the male staff person for his honesty in this situation. 

I have observed the boy, and am wondering if he is acting out at the childcare because he feels as if he does not fit in.  Perhaps he does not know how to fit in.  He is around younger children, which is a new environment for him.  I have also noticed that he does not seem to understand when he is disrespecting others.  It is almost as if he were never taught to respect others.  Therefore, I am planning on working closely with him the next week he attends childcare, helping him to fit in, and teaching him how to respect others.  His mother says he has no interests or hobbies other than video games.  He packs a large number of stuffed animals with him daily, and all of them are related to video game characters.  I am thinking that this boy may need a close friend, perhaps an adult, who he can talk to and confide in.  Therefore, I hope to use the three R’s by talking with him, actively listening, respecting him, and promoting responsive interactions with him.

I am definitely open to any suggestions!

Mary L.